15 Weeks and Counting!!!

This post is for Mariah!! Well from my last post a lot has happened in the past few months. As everyone probably knows I had a d&c this past June and it was rough but we got through that emotional roller coaster. But on a lighter note about two months after that procedure Nick and I found out that we are expecting our first child. I found out on my Birthday but didn't want to get my hopes up just to have then crash and burn. I had my follow up appointment for the surgery in a couple of day so i just waited till then to tell my doctor. We got to the room and i told the nurse that i had taken a pregnancy test a week before and it came out positive so she rush me to the bath room for a urine sample. Surprise I was indeed Pregnant. The next day i had to get an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy. I was so nervous beyond belief, my husband Nick and my sister Sherie went with me. When we got in the room i told the tech to turn the monitor in front of me off and to turn the sound all the way down. Then i proceeded to close my eyes and plug my ears. When i opened my eyes my sister had jump almost into my husbands arms with excitement. Then i knew it was true that in there was a little thing with a heartbeat. I cannot tell you enough how happy Nick and I are. From going through two miscarriages and a d&c, this ending couldn't have been any better. As of right now we are 15 weeks and counting. We are so overjoyed to have this blessing in our life. The only thing now is we are bickering about names. The sad part is i think I'm going to loose this misunderstanding!!!!

What's going on!!!

Have you ever wondered why things happen for a reason? That's all I have been doing these past few months. Today my dad told me that my niece who is only 17 had a baby boy on 27Th of this month and my heart sank. Not because she is only 17 but the fact that there are people in the world who are married, ready and willing to have a family but by some chance they can't conceive but if they do conceive they can't carry full term. My heart sank again for the simple fact that these teenage girls are not married or even out of high school and they are having babies like they are, the new trend to set. I know everything happens for a reason and I hate that. I just wish I could get lucky enough to experience what these women are going through. It's not fun being the only kid of eight not giving my parents grandchildren.
The past few months have been really hard on my husband and I because we recently found out that we miscarried after two months. It devastated me because that was my 2ND miscarriage in five months. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to talk about it but the only way I can really talk about it is through writing. I'm dealing with so many emotions from being super excited and have every thought be about what I was going to buy for this child to being devastated. I have hated so many things for example: seeing pregnant women, hearing about being pregnant, and anything to do with pregnancies. I'm mad at my heavenly father for giving me something and so violently taking it back. I don't get it, I thought paying your tithing, going to the temple and enduring to the end was suppose to give you blessings. I have come to know that with constant prayer that anything will turn around. There is a lady in my ward that i would love to thank for that inspiring message she taught at the last enrichment night. Your story made me realize that I can't give up. That being mad at my heavenly father isn't the right way to go about it. Your story gives me so much hope! Thank you!!

Not your FAULT!

So What happens when you want something so bad and you get it but it's gone in a blink of an eye.... what do you do then? I'll tell you don't let anything bring you done, do not let yourself think and ponder what if... Always surround yourself with people you love and they love you! Never ask yourself what did I do wrong, the real question is what went wrong. Always tell yourself that it is not your FAULT. It's no ones fault. No matter what always talk about it with you spouse and never leave that person in the dark.Talk about it. Always turn to the Lord in the end and read your Scriptures. He is going to give you trials and tribulation but only the ones he knows you can overcome and develope a stronger testamony.

Great Examples to Me!

On the day my nephew Aidan was bless a guy in my dad's ward got up to bear his testomy and asked all the mothers of the babies that were blessed that day to stand up. My sister in-law stood up with the other two moms. In his testomy he said that those women who stood up just a moment ago showed courage, strength, compassion, and love. They are the strongest members of our church. I believe him now. I had the earge to stand up and bear my testomy that day but the thought of getting up in front of everyone was the most terrifying experience that i only did when asked by the bishopbric and i was about to volunteer myself. But there was something that i wanted to get off my chest. My sister in-law is one of the most amazing women i know. For her to have two kids under the age of two and get up in the morning wow. No when i have kids i hope that i have the strength that she has and the patience. She's the most loving person i know that will do anything for anyone and not ask questions about it. She a person that doesnt care what people think about her or say about her. She is still and always will be my best friend even though we dont hang out that much anymore, but that's not the point my point is that when i have kids i want them to know where they are learning everything from (me) and i learned everything from my sister in-law about how to be a great mom. So i just want to say Thank You to my sister in-law Maggie. Another thing is that i feel blessed to have such great friends like Jodi Crosby and Jerah Seggie to show me how to be a great mom. I know Jodi and I since we got married always talked about how much we wanted to be a mom, when she told me she was expecting Lucy (which by the way she is the cutest thing ever) I was so excited for her and dave. I know how special that ment to her. I just wanted to say that I'm just wanted to express my love for all the mothers out there. President Monson said it best in the april session of general confrence last year, our wifes are the backbone of this religion without them nothing would get done.